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Family woes.. Boo hiss..

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garhkal
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Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#1 » Thu Aug 02, 2018 12:29 pm

A # of years back, my pops passed.. At the Funeral, me and my brother made a promise to two of our uncles, that we'd do a hell of a lot better in keeping in touch with one another..

Well, i've tried, but my brother hasn't. IN fact, in that almost 8 year span, i've gotten at most, 2 letters and 1 email from him.
Apparently there might be a reason.

I was called this morning, by both the IRS (where he works) and DHS's dept of security (the guards for all fed buildings), that over the weekend he had been admitted to a local hospital in Desmoines, for uncontrolled diabeties, which led to gangrene, causing them to amputate one of his feet. Now they might have to take a full leg. And as such the IRS and DHS workers were reaching out, for power of attorney stuff..

They think, because of his alooftness, and inability to take care of himself, which might have led TO these issues, he might have aspergers... Hell, he supposedly was evicted, and living on the street for almost a week, before anyone in the office knew what was up...

Yeouch.. So not only will he have ongoing medical issues, from the loss of a foot (at the minimum), possibly even a leg, but this will cause him to go on disability for life, AND because of possibly having aspergers, he might need lifetime in home support.

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Billy_Buttcheese
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#2 » Thu Aug 02, 2018 1:48 pm

Damn, dude... Aspergers is normally thought of as a developing as a childhood malady. Do you recall him ever having any tendencies for such a condition? Are these folks looking for anything from you besides legal stuff? Have you reached out to him? The first thing I would do is try to give him a call and just talk, find out if he needs anything. Aspergers is not curable but can be largely controlled by proper medication. Obviously the same with diabetes. So, I'm guessing he might not remember to take his meds thus requiring full-time medical support? Serious suckage, that. What are your plans?

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garhkal
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#3 » Thu Aug 02, 2018 8:58 pm

Billy_Buttcheese wrote:Damn, dude... Aspergers is normally thought of as a developing as a childhood malady. Do you recall him ever having any tendencies for such a condition?


Nope. That's what his manager thinks he might possibly be suffering from, because of his anti-socialness. She remarked (when we chatted), he seemed just like a neighbor's kid, who like my brother, was very good with numbers, figures, facts and retention of stuff, but was very anti-social too.. It's not an actual diagnosis from the docs... Well to my knowledge. I am still awaiting a call back from the social worker handling his case..

Billy_Buttcheese wrote:Are these folks looking for anything from you besides legal stuff?


At the mo, i am unsure. It sounds, for now, just that they need 'family' for medical power of attorney stuff. Though the gal i spoke with, did say if he has to lose his leg, on top of losing his food, adding to his 'inability to take care of himself prior, he MIGHT need full on live in medical care.. So maybe they are looking for me to take him.. Dunno yet.

Billy_Buttcheese wrote:Have you reached out to him?


With them saying he's in and out of consciousness no. BUT then over the past 14 years+, he's maybe responded to 3, or 4 letters, and 2-3 cards i've ever sent...

Billy_Buttcheese wrote:Serious suckage, that. What are your plans?


Right now, just waiting to get more bloody info...

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Halaster-Blackcloak
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#4 » Thu Aug 02, 2018 11:50 pm

Damn! That totally sucks! Do you know if it was adult onset diabetes? If so, you can manage it to a large degree. Is there any other family nearby that can check in on him and help with the situation? When you say he is in and out of consciousness - was he in a coma, or just recovering from surgery?

If you need any medical advice, PM me. Keeping you both in my prayers.

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TigerStripedDog
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#5 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 6:39 am

Not trying to add to your woes Garhkal, but I don't think that sounds like Asperger's to me. I can't diagnose your brother from afar, and without a detailed history and examination - but I would seek a different cause. If your brother did well enough in school (despite his antisocial tendencies), and had been self sufficient as an adult, there is no reason to believe he wouldn't continue that way. Asperger's doesn't get worse overtime. Asperger's is a brain architecture thing - but that architecture doesn't really shift around. He might have Asperger's, sure, but that isn't what has led to his deterioration.

It sounds more like your brother might have depression, or another psychiatric disorder that leads to poor self care and insight. Schizophrenia is notorious for that. Many people think that Schizophrenia is a disorder of hallucinations and people talking to themselves. It can be that, but more often it is poor insight, disordered thinking, and a failure to care for self that are the primary symptoms. It sounds like your brother should see a Primary Care Physician sooner rather than later.

As for the Diabetes - that is very severe. The progression to the point of amputation suggests a long history of very poorly controlled diabetes. Having blood sugars that high can also cause central nervous system problems - so its also possible that his mental dysfunction is related to his poorly controlled diabetes as well.

Just a thought.

I wish your brother, and you, the best. There are great doctors in Des Moines. UnityPoint Health has some very nice clinics there - with connections to the University of Iowa Medical School. Worth looking into.

Tiger
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garhkal
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#6 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 12:46 pm

Halaster-Blackcloak wrote:Damn! That totally sucks! Do you know if it was adult onset diabetes? If so, you can manage it to a large degree. Is there any other family nearby that can check in on him and help with the situation? When you say he is in and out of consciousness - was he in a coma, or just recovering from surgery?

If you need any medical advice, PM me. Keeping you both in my prayers.


Undiagnosed runaway diabeties, what ever that is.. And no, me and mom seem to be his closest relatives (over 10 hrs distance close)..
As for his consciousness, that's is because of surgery from what we were told.. He didn't get his full foot amputated, but almost 1/2 of it, and some of his leg's also gone...

Not trying to add to your woes Garhkal, but I don't think that sounds like Asperger's to me. I can't diagnose your brother from afar, and without a detailed history and examination - but I would seek a different cause. If your brother did well enough in school (despite his antisocial tendencies), and had been self sufficient as an adult, there is no reason to believe he wouldn't continue that way. Asperger's doesn't get worse overtime. Asperger's is a brain architecture thing - but that architecture doesn't really shift around. He might have Asperger's, sure, but that isn't what has led to his deterioration.


Like i said, that was more his boss and a co-worker, saying he MIGHT have it, which Might explain why he's lacked the ability to take care of himself for a # of years it seems..
Either that or what ills he's had, did something to his brain.

I wish your brother, and you, the best. There are great doctors in Des Moines. UnityPoint Health has some very nice clinics there - with connections to the University of Iowa Medical School. Worth looking into.


He's currently at the methodist hospital downtown right now..
But if needed, i will look into that UPH place..

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Billy_Buttcheese
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#7 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 1:34 pm

Hey Gar, just a quick thought. Was he ever in the military like you? If so the VA would be an excellent source of info and help for him. Anyone that served and was discharged for anything except a dishonorable discharge can use the VA's facilities. He doesn't have to be a retiree. Just needs his DD214 and fill out about 150 forms, but it's worth it.

I tend to agree with Tiger, it sounds more like depression to me. I work with several folks with Aspergers and none of them are what I would call anti-social. In fact they tend to be some of the most outgoing folks at the place where I work but that's certainly not a diagnosis. But untreated diabetes is some bad mojo. As someone with failing kidneys, I can attest to how untreated conditions can really put a crimp in your lifestyle. I suspect that once the diabetes is under control they'll be able to figure out the underlying cause.

Best of luck. I've added him to my prayer list. Keep us informed.

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garhkal
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#8 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 2:49 pm

Yes he was, but only for 18 mo before being booted out. And he doesn't have a copy OF his DD-214.. That's one of the forms that the IRS called me about, to try and help them locate..

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Billy_Buttcheese
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#9 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 5:23 pm

As I indicated and AFAIK, even a general or other than honorable discharge sill makes him eligible for VA benefits. If it was dishonorable he might be out of luck. There are plenty of online resources for getting a copy of your DD214. I just did a Bing search and got a full page of options. Most of them have a service charge (~$100) but so what? If he can get VA benefits that money will come back ten-fold in the long run. Especially in diabetes medications. It's worth a try, for sure.

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garhkal
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#10 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 8:44 pm

Well i finally spoke WITH my brother, after his leg surgery. Apparently, what the co-worker heard, about it being gangreen in his foot, was wrong. It was one of those flesh eating bacterias.. And he suffers from depression, which is why he's had issues taking care of himself. BUT now he knows and has been confronted with it, he's seeking assistance there, rather than 'stupidly trying to tackle it himself'...

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RPG Dinosaur
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#11 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 9:04 pm

Well it's very good that you've talked with your brother. It seems to me that him seeking help is a huge step in the right direction. Wishing you both all the energy and support you need for this situation.
BTW congratulations on making Baronet, the first one I've seen on the site.
_Matt_

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Halaster-Blackcloak
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#12 » Fri Aug 03, 2018 10:33 pm

Glad to see you spoke with your brother. Was it MRSA he had? Yikes!

Like I said, lots of nutritional supplements out there that can help depression (cutting edge research is showing that many if not most cases of depression have their roots in nutritional imbalances and brain inflammation). If you want to know more let me know and I'll email you a ton of info. Hopefully it'll be helpful.

Prayers going out for a quick and complete recovery! :thumbs:

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Billy_Buttcheese
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#13 » Sat Aug 04, 2018 8:27 pm

Glad to hear you actually spoke with him. I bet he was happy to hear from you even though you've not been very close recently. I hope he will seek treatment for his depression and I still think it would be wise for him to at least look into VA benefits for discounted meds if for no other reason. Let him know there are people thinking about and praying for him.

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garhkal
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#14 » Sat Aug 04, 2018 8:57 pm

Halaster-Blackcloak wrote:Glad to see you spoke with your brother. Was it MRSA he had? Yikes!


Not sure. He didn't say... Though i'd laugh if it was, since when i was stationed in the UK twice, i heard many a story about people CONTRACTING it while staying in NHS hospitals!

Halaster-Blackcloak wrote:Like I said, lots of nutritional supplements out there that can help depression (cutting edge research is showing that many if not most cases of depression have their roots in nutritional imbalances and brain inflammation). If you want to know more let me know and I'll email you a ton of info. Hopefully it'll be helpful.

Prayers going out for a quick and complete recovery! :thumbs:



Many thanks for all the prayers..

Billy_Buttcheese wrote:Glad to hear you actually spoke with him. I bet he was happy to hear from you even though you've not been very close recently. I hope he will seek treatment for his depression and I still think it would be wise for him to at least look into VA benefits for discounted meds if for no other reason. Let him know there are people thinking about and praying for him.


Next time we chat (i tried his phone today around 8pm ish, after my regular game session), but got no answer... Not sure if it was cause he was sleeping, or poss down in rehab.

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garhkal
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Re: Family woes.. Boo hiss..

Post#15 » Mon Aug 20, 2018 1:37 pm

Well, i spent thursday, friday and even yesterday trying to contact my brother, mostly to check in, see how he's doing. BUT all my calls, got a "sorry, but you cannot connect to this phone at this time" message, making me wonder what the hell was up.
Finally had someone who went to see him, text me the # for the landline in his room, and got threw.. He made the excuse "the day after my bill comes due, the phone gets disconnected" (i've never heard of THAT before).. WHen i tried to quiz him as to why "Well, if you have a land line in your room, why should it matter if your cell phone didn't work, you still could have called..

Then the stubborn SOB hung the hell up on me?! 8O

After calling back, he tried shouting me down, by saying "HOW dare i Deign to lecture him".. Then hung up a 2nd time..

So i could NOT get my question answered of if there's any more news about him and his rehab.. I then put in a call to his physical therapist, to find out from her. Left a voice mail (will try again tomorrow)..

BUT if they are supposedly wanting me to come the hell up, to take him when he gets discharged, DON'T THEY THINK it would be a bloody good idea, to actually, you know.. TELL ME WHEN the hell i need to be up there?!

And since HE made a promise to keep calling US, to check in which he's not been doing, it is seriously making ME re-consider my statement, of "Yes i can come up there on my own dime, to look after him when he gets discharged"...

Well, he's always been kind of a hard case, always hot headed, overbearing and the like.

But i got called back by his physio..
Apparently because of his "Living conditions" (he was found when he first had the medical issue, living in one of those pay by the week motels, like the Extended stay America), and because if/when he gets discharged, it would wind up being back to one of those sorts of places, so far not ONE of the numerous physical therapy clinics have been willing to accept him.. Because to them, that sort of discharge would violate their rules.
So their current next try, is getting with the VA, and see if THEY will accept him. Ergo my having to go up or not, is currently on hold.

After talking to her, about what he did over the weekend, AND speaking to one of his co-workers, they will try to talk to him, and get some sense knocked into his brain.. BUT IF HE DOES NOT call me back, and at least seem contrite (i may push to get an apology, i may not), i've told the Physio lady i am done with him....

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